Forever

I need to keep up with this blogging! Things have been stressful to say the least but I'm trying to stay positive and find things to keep the kids busy on these rainy days. Big update coming soon on life with twins! Got a meeting with Becky out twin mom leader/coach tomorrow so looking forward too it! And my dad surprised Nick and I with a vacation for 5 days kid free! Thanks again dad I sooo need this!

Lost

I'm really struggling with finding out who I am besides a mom and wife and maid...I always wanted to be a wife and stay at home mom but now I don't know it's so hard and I need strength and I don't have it right now. Between the anxiety and depression I feel so lost and disconnected! Even of no one reads this it helps to say it out loud even if only through writing!

The Start

Our twin mom leader and life coach Becky asked us (all the ladies in the twin mom group I am in) to write our story. Like a lot of the other moms I dont think there's much of a story to write. Obviously to me it is important, it was the birth of my babies. I am guessing its not much different then most birth stories, other than its mine. I was going to say unlike but I know thats not true, there are other writers in the group. I love writing but havent written much since highschool, I am hoping this will be the start of my inspiration to start writing again. So I am going to take Becky's advice and opportunity to turn my story into something hopefully inspiring for someone else or just help someone else know that they arent alone in this struggle with twins. Not just twins, but having other kids as well, and being a wife and find our places as our own person. So, this is just the beginning of my writing and I am going to try with everything I have to write a little everyday or at least every other day BECAUSE ITS SOMETHING FOR ME! Although right now as we speak or write in my case, my 3 energenic children are running around their room tormenting eachother. I hope that I can look back at this moment and realize how close this made them. I hope they will be close in the future when they become adults and have something I never did, a relationship with my siblings.

Being a twin mom

The other day I had another twin mom ask me for advice on how to handle...well everything. It took me days to write her back because I dont want to make it worse for her but I dont want to lie to her either. So I told her the truth, her twins are one and mine are 3 1/2, and I told her it doesnt get any easier, it only gets harder. I struggle everyday with being a mom a wife and trying to just figure out who I am and what I am supposed to be doing. Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Who am I? What can I do to help my children grow up to be kind, smart, and find their dreams? What are my dreams, where is life going? Im 27 now and I still havent figured out life, let alone how to manage 3 year old twins and 5 year old, plus a marriage....She just really got me to thinking....who am I and what can I and how do I find myself so I can make my marriage better and help my children to grow to be wonderful people....